birthmothers

Questions before Placement

Q. Why would I consider adoption?

A. Women consider adoption for many different reasons, but it usually comes down to a belief that she is not ready or able at this time to provide for her child in the way she thinks is best for the child. You might not feel you are ready to parent. You may want a two-parent home or more stability for your child. It may be the time do something different than you’ve already tried.

Q. How do I put my baby up for adoption?

A. This is a question that does not have a short answer. You should know that placing your baby for adoption is a legal process. After your baby is born, you will sign papers that allow the adoptive family to go to court to legally become your baby’s parents. For more information on exploring the adoption option, check out our “What’s Next” page. For more information on your rights in adoption, check out our “Know Your Rights” page.

Q. What is open adoption?

A. Open adoption is a relationship between birth families, adoptive families and the child placed for adoption. It often includes continued communication between the families with updates, pictures and visits.

Q. Can I choose the family to adopt my baby?

A. Absolutely! You can choose a family based on the life you would like your child to have. We will help you sort through family biographies until you find a family that really, really excites you.

Q. Why should I choose an ASC family?

A. Not only have our ASC families completed a home study showing they are physically, financially, and emotionally ready to become adoptive parents, they are excited and ready to meet YOU and develop that open adoption relationship.

Q. What is a “home study”?

A. A home study is the preparation adoptive families have done to prove they are ready to provide a safe and stable home for an adopted child. Families with an approved ASC home study have passed five criminal and CPS background checks, a substance abuse screening, and medical physicals. They have presented proof of income via tax records and payroll stubs. They have attended interview sessions at our office, been visited by our executive director in their home and attended our home study class. By the time they are approved, they have a true understanding of your needs for communication and sharing, and are happy to provide it.

Q. What if I know someone who wants to adopt my baby?

A. You can place your baby with a friend, family member, or through a private adoption attorney. No matter what route you chose to take in finding a family for your baby, remember you are entitled to financial assistance and counseling. Know Your Rights.

Q. What if I’m overwhelmed by all of this?

A. Let us know. We can make it as simple as you need it to be, even choosing the adoptive family for you.

Q. What if I already had my baby?

A. Parenting can be difficult. Even if you are already home with your baby, you can still make an adoption plan.  Advice and support are available when to you.  Reach out to ASC when you feel you are ready to talk with an ASC coordinator.  She will come to you and take the process as slow or as fast as you wish.

Q. Who do I have to tell about my adoption plans?

A. The adoption process is filled with emotions. You may lack support while making this plan, so we are here for you. While all our conversations are confidential, with your permission our coordinators can help you discuss your plans with your parents, family and/or children.

Q. How do I tell my family I am considering adoption?

A. We can help. Your ASC coordinator can provide advice, support and encouragement as you navigate the emotions involved with your family.

Q. What if no one is supportive?

A. Many friends and family members will make promises to help you parent. Ask yourself if they have really come through for you in the past. You must make a decision you believe you can live with for the rest of your life. Your ASC coordinator is here to be your advocate and support person.

Q. If I talk with you about adoption, do I have to complete an adoption plan?

A. There is no contract with us. We encourage you to tell your coordinator all your feelings about adoption and parenting, no matter what they are. We just ask you to be honest about your feelings and needs.

QUESTIONS ABOUT INDIANA ADOPTION LAW

Q. Does the birth father need to know?

A. If you are unmarried you are not obligated to identify the birth father under Indiana Law.

Q. Can I put my baby up for adoption if I am under 18 years old

A. Placing your baby for adoption is your decision, no matter how old you are. Your parents, foster parents, or guardians have no legal rights to the child and there are no grandparent rights for newborns in the State of Indiana.

Q. Who pays my medical bills?

A. If you choose to complete an adoption plan and you do not have medical insurance or Medicaid, the adoptive family pays the medical bills for you and your baby. If you do not complete an adoption plan, one of your first responsibilities as a new parent would be to apply for insurance or Medicaid or make arrangements to pay the medical bills for you and your baby.

Q. Do I need my own attorney?

A. It’s up to you and your comfort level! The adoptive parents’ attorney will explain the process to you and give you copies of everything you will be signing before you sign adoption consents. The adoptive parents can provide you with an attorney if that offers you a higher level of reassurance.

Q. Can I get living assistance?

A. Yes. The state of Indiana allows for $4,000 of living assistance with housing, food, utilities, maternity clothes and other survival expenses.

Q. Will people think I’m selling my baby if I accept the living expenses?

A. The living expenses are completely legal and approved by the court. Because pregnancy can complicate your life and throw financial obstacles at you, the survival expenses are meant to help you through the rough financial times.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE

Q. Will the adoptive parents be in labor and delivery with me?

A. This is your choice! If you would like for the adoptive mom or dad or both to be with you, they would consider this an honor and would love to offer that support. If you would rather have this time to yourself, your support people, and your baby, then that’s ok too!

Q. If the adoptive parents are in labor and delivery with me, do I have to go ahead with the adoption?

A. No. If the adoptive parents are in labor and delivery with you, they are there to support you. They are not the baby’s parents until you sign the consents for adoption.

Q. Can I see the baby in the hospital?

A. Yes! You can choose the level of contact you have with your baby and your adoptive family in the hospital. The adoptive parents are not the baby’s parents until you sign the consents for adoption

Q. Who gets to name the baby?

A. You will give the baby the first name that baby will ever have. It goes on the birth certificate that you complete while in the hospital. The adoptive parents will name the baby when they finalize the adoption in court. Many families work together to name the baby and quite often the names are the same. It’s ok if the name from you and the adoptive family is not the same.

Q. When do I sign the papers?

A.You will the consent for the adoption papers after the birth of your child, usually 24-48 hours later.

Q. What if I change my mind?

A.You can change your mind at any time during your pregnancy or after the birth, as long as you have not signed the adoption papers.

Q. Will my baby go to a foster home?

A. No. Your baby goes directly from the hospital to the adoptive family’s home.

Q. If I didn’t plan an adoption before coming to the hospital, can I make an adoption plan now

A. Definitely! We will meet with you and help you make a plan even if you have already delivered. Our coordinators are ready with advice and support.

QUESTIONS FOR AFTER PLACEMENT:

Q. How will I stay in contact with my baby’s family after the placement?

A. There are many ways birth and adoptive families are able to stay in contact after placement. Our ASC families are willing to share in whatever way is easiest for you. If texting is what works best for you, that will work for the adoptive family. If Messenger is better, the adoptive families will use Messenger. Coming to an agreement about the kind and amount of contact before the placement takes place makes the after-placement time much more easy to navigate. Your ASC coordinator can advise and support you in making this plan.

Q. If I choose an open adoption, will I get to see my child after placement?

A. Yes! You will be able to customize calls, video chats, letters, pictures, and visits. Dream a little into the future—many of our ASC families share picnic lunches, pizza parties, and birthday cake celebrations! This is a lifetime relationship, and so there will be many opportunities to share in the joys ahead.

Q. What if things change for me after the placement? What if I want more communication or less communication?

A. Life always changes. It’s a good bet things will be different for you as time goes on. If you did not want contact at the time of the placement but later think you would like more contact, ASC can help reestablish contact and give you the peace of mind about your child’s life. If you had contact and are finding it overwhelming as you handle your own emotions, ASC can help you and your adopting family take a step back and reevaluate the kind and amount of contact you have. Remember, open adoption is about relationships, and these change over time. The mindset of open adoption is to respect one another and honor the others’ feelings.

Q. How do I deal with everyone’s opinion of my adoption?

A. We know the opinions of your parents, friends, and family matter to you, but ultimately what you think is most important. Your coordinator can offer advice and support to help build you up, giving you confidence in your decision.

Q. What will my child think of me someday?

A. Our families share the love and respect they have for you with their child. They understand the importance of talking about adoption with their child from infancy—there are no secrets! Because open adoption is a mindset, our families understand the importance of answering questions their child may have in a way that honors you.

Q. What kind of support is available to me after the placement?

A. Adoption is a lifelong commitment. ASC offers support groups for birth moms in both face-to-face settings and on line. Counseling referrals and sessions are provided to work through the loss and focus on the future. ASC also celebrates birth mothers every summer with a special on-site event. This allows birth mothers to meet other women who have walked through adoption.  It gives them a sense of community. Often they exchange contact information and stay connected through the year.

Q. Why choose the Adoption Support Center?

A. We are women helping women. As a collection of caring women who are adoptive moms and birth mothers, we have personally experienced infertility and unplanned pregnancies. We know what it is like to be vulnerable and scared. We know what it is like to experience loss.

Our coordinators are tireless and passionate. They will respond to your calls and visit you quickly. During your pregnancy, they will help you navigate the medical care, legal advice, financial burdens, birth fathers, and adoptive families. There are no judgements and no pressure. Our coordinators are ready to meet with you to explore adoption. No matter what your end decision may be, our goal is that you are a better person for having met us and learned a little about what an ethical, modern adoption can be.

So call and ask us about adoption. There is no obligation, and a friendly voice will always answer.

Call now to have your questions answered!
(317) 255-5916

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