Fearful or Fearless

It’s October—that deliciously scary time of year when the days are shorter, the nights seem darker, and haunted houses are everywhere.


Since we are here in October, let’s talk about that emotion that lies just under the surface—that emotion of fear. We are conditioned to not want to admit to being afraid. After all, we might be seen as weak!


But fear is an emotion that all too often makes an appearance during the adoption process.

There is the fear of the unknown.

The fear of being rejected.

The fear of not being good enough.

(And coincidentally, these same fears work for both expectant parents considering adoption and hopeful adoptive parents.)


The question then becomes “how can I be brave?” How is it possible to be brave when you are hoping an expectant mother chooses you? How is it possible to be brave when don’t know if the adoptive family you chose will honor their promises? How can I move from “fearful” to “fearless”?


As with anything else in life, so much depends on the mindset and what you are telling yourself. It’s the difference between negative and positive self-talk.


Negative and fearful thoughts are like weeds. Once one fearful thought takes root, it’s hard to not let it overrun everything. Positive and fearless thoughts are the ones that need to be tended. The more positive thoughts you can plant in your brain, the more likely you are to starve out the negative.


Fear-less thinking when it comes to adoption is thinking that requires you to step into the unknown while you are confident in your own abilities. This will include your ability to trust yourself and your instincts. This will include your ability to seek help when you are feeing uncertain. This might include your ability to say no to some situations and yes to others.


This will include your ability to love unconditionally.


Which will you be today? Fear-full or fear-less?