FAQ for Birthmothers
We pride ourselves on providing personal, customized care for each birth mother. You are all “Our girls!” Each of you are unique, and your own special needs deserve attention. Whether you are 15 or 40, alone or with full family support, whether it is your first pregnancy or your fifth, this is a scary time. This is not just about your pregnancy, this is about the rest of your life. This is the beginning of our journey together.
Here are some of the questions we hear most often.
A. For whatever reason, right now you may not be ready to parent. You may want a two-parent home or more stability for your child. It may be the time to do something different.
A. No. If you lack support while making this plan for your child, we are here for you. If you choose to, our coordinators can help you discuss this with your family/children. All of our conversations are confidential.
A. Absolutely! We will ask you what kind of family you have in mind and pull biographies of couples that match your criteria. We will continue to show you bios until you find a family that really, really excites you!
A. We have stable Indiana families waiting to adopt. You can choose from families with no children or families that have adopted or biological children already living in their home.
A. If you are overwhelmed and want less involvement, we can make it simpler. We can even choose the family for you.
A. There is no contract. If we can’t meet your needs, there is no obligation. We only ask you to be honest about your feelings, your needs and your commitment. We don’t want anyone to get hurt. We encourage you to tell us if you are feeling unsure about adoption.
A. God has given you this choice. No matter what you decide, God has given you this opportunity, knowing you can make the tough decision that is right for you and this child.
Questions Concerning Your Rights
A. You will sign after the birth of your child, usually 24-48 hours later.
A. You can change your mind at any time during your pregnancy or after the birth, as long as you have not signed the adoption papers.
A. Doing a private adoption means there is no agency. You are still entitled to financial assistance and counseling no matter if you place your baby with a friend, family member of through a private adoption attorney.
A. No. You do not have to identify the birth father, according to Indiana Law.
A. It’s still your decision. Your parents have no legal right to the child and there are no grandparent rights in the state of Indiana.
A. If you do not have Medicaid or insurance, and you do an adoption, medical bills for you and the baby are paid by the adoptive family. If you choose to parent, of course, your first parental responsibility would be to apply for Medicaid or pay the medical bills for you and your baby.
A. No. You do not need one. However, one can be provided for you.
A. Yes. The state of Indiana allows for $3,000 of assistance with housing, living expenses, food, utilities and maternity clothes.
A. We can help. You’ll be surprised how well they respond when they hear the confidence in your voice, feel your commitment and see your maturity. We can be present, if you wish, and help with this important step.
A. Yes. This is an important topic. You should discuss your wishes before placement, so you are all in agreement. Most of our families would like to share pictures and letters, and most will do visits after placement, if you wish.
A. An open adoption is when you and the family share letters, pictures, and visits after placement.
Preparing for Placement
A. We know the opinions of your parents, friends, and family matter to you, but, ultimately, what you think is most important.
A. Many friends and family members will make promises to help you parent. Ask yourself if they have really come through for you in the past. You must make a decision you feel you can live with for the rest of your life.
A. Yes. You can choose the level of contact you have with your baby and your adoptive family in the hospital.
A. As a licensed agency, we do our own screening of our adoptive families. We can assure you they are stable, financially secure families in a solid marriage. They have passed five criminal and CPS screens, been approved as healthy by doctor physicals and have presented proof of income via tax records and payroll stubs. They must attend sessions at our office, be visited by our social worker in their home and attend our home study class. When approved, they have a true understanding of your needs for communication and sharing, and are happy to provide it.
A. No. Your baby goes directly from the hospital to your adoptive family’s home.
A. Our families have a strong respect for our birth mothers, and they want your child to feel that same love and respect for you. The home study is an educational process that covers when and how to tell the child they are adopted, how to handle their many questions as they grow and how to give them a strong sense of confidence.
A. We are women helping women. As a collection of caring women who are adoptive moms and birth mothers, we have personally experienced infertility and unplanned pregnancies. We know what it is like to be vulnerable and scared, and to experience loss. Who could help you better?
Our coordinators are tireless and passionate. They will respond to your calls and visit you quickly. During your pregnancy, they will help you navigate medical care, legal advice, financial burdens, birth fathers, and adoptive families. Having former birth mothers just a phone call away will give you insight into the future, helping you to understand how it will feel later. And after you’ve placed, you will not be forgotten.
So call and ask us about adoption. There is no obligation, and a friendly voice will always answer.